Where should I start?

Maps and compass

Where Should I Start?

Improving your social skills can feel overwhelming—like opening a Pandora’s box. There are so many areas you could work on...body language, vocal tone, confidence, humor, or even patience.

But here’s the truth: the only thing that matters is to start somewhere.

When you take that first step, you send a powerful message to your subconscious: “This matters to me.”

Taking action cuts through doubt and excuses, shifting your focus from fear to growth.

Alright, here’s the deal—just pick any skillset from my book, 101 Ways to Make Great Friends. Read through it a few times, then focus on practicing it over the next couple of weeks. This will help you figure out whether it’s already a strength of yours or something that needs a little polishing.

And if you’re still unsure where to begin, here are a few starting points I recommend. These are the same skills I focused on when I first got the ball rolling back when I was living in downtown Sacramento. There was so much to do, and with Uber just starting to take off back then, it made exploring the city—and meeting new people a lot of fun.

Two Ways to Begin: Passive vs. Active

There are two main ways to kick off your education:

1. Passive Learning

Passive learning helps you build knowledge and inspiration without having to step too far out of your comfort zone at first.

Try these ideas:

• Watch TED Talks to learn about communication and psychology.

• Study stand-up comedians to pick up timing and humor techniques.

• Read books or listen to podcasts about human connection and behavior.

This expands your perspective and gives you strategies to apply later.

2. Active Practice

Real growth comes from real-world experience.

To improve, you need to get out there and interact with people:

• Visit a new bar, café, or park, and simply be present around others.

• Attend meetups, classes, or local events where conversations happen naturally.

• Fill your schedule with social activities so you have regular opportunities to connect.

Boost Your Social Energy by Feeling Good Physically

Your physical state deeply affects how you communicate.When you feel better, you naturally project confidence and positivity.

Incorporate these habits:

• Practice yoga or meditation to calm your mind and reduce anxiety.

• Exercise regularly—bike, run, or hit the gym—to increase energy levels.

• Get enough sleep and proper nutrition to feel sharp and present.

***When you feel great physically, it shows in how you carry yourself socially.

Embrace the Journey (Not Just the Destination)

When I first started improving my social skills, it was slow and awkward. I made mistakes.But I realized something: I loved the process.

It wasn’t just about being more confident around people—it was about becoming a better version of myself.

Here’s what to remember:

• There will be ups and downs, but that’s normal.

• Every setback is a lesson, not a failure.

• Over time, the ups will outweigh the downs, and your progress will become clear.

Your Next Step: Just Start Somewhere

Don’t wait for the “perfect” time or the “perfect” plan.The only mistake is not starting at all.

Choose one thing to focus on today:

• Watch an inspiring TED Talk.

• Strike up a short conversation with a stranger.

• Visit a new place in your city.

• Go for a walk to clear your mind.

Small actions create momentum. And momentum changes everything.

Final Thought

Improving your social skills is one of the most valuable investments you can make in yourself.The first step might feel small, but it’s the beginning of something extraordinary.

So don’t overthink it. Just start somewhere—and keep going!!!

101 Ways to Make Great Friends - The Boooooook!